10 Ways To Build A Successful Relationship

Reuters/Lucy Nicholson
Whether you believe it or not, there are very simple steps to achieve success in a relationship. The successful, happy couples you know have all followed a particular recipe. Of course, each couple has its differences and its own ways of loving and communicating. However, there are several basic steps each person should follow if they want their relationship to last, be successful and bring happiness.

Check out those ten steps below:

1. You and your partner should be together for the right reasons.

Don’t ever be with a person because someone else or something else pressured you to. What your parents want, what society defines as 'right partner,' or what religion defines as 'compatible' should have nothing to do with whom you love. Loneliness is also a factor that could pressure us to be with the wrong person. Don't listen to those. Listen to your heart, mind, and soul.

Before you even get into what you should in a relationship, let’s start with what you shouldn't do. The person you choose to be beside you should be the one you love, trust, and communicate with, no matter what other people believe. If you've found the right reasons to be with someone, then you've made the first step to happiness.

2. Have realistic expectations about romance

You are not going to have butterflies in your stomach over each other every day for the rest of your lives. No one ever lived 'happily ever after,' and you should realize it and stop believing this crap. That will help you stop having unrealistic expectations about your relationship.

There will be days or weeks, or maybe even much longer when you and your partner will be facing troubles. The romantic period doesn't last forever, but if you know and accept that, then you can go to the next level more confident and ready to deal with any issue. If more couples understood that, they would be less inclined to freak out and rush to break up.

3. Respect is the most important factor in a relationship.

Love, sex, and communication are all essential. However, there will be times when you won’t feel the same kind of love for your partner. That's the truth. However, you never want to lose respect for him/her. Once you lose respect, you'll never get it back.

Communication, no matter how open and transparent, will always break down at some point. Arguments and conflicts are unavoidable, and both partners' feelings will always be hurt. The only thing that can save your relationship is respect for each another. Holding each other in high esteem, believing in one another, and trusting that your partner is doing their best with what they’ve got is what can save your relationship. If you don't have that, you have nothing. There's no successful love without respect.

4. Talk openly about everything.

You should talk about what’s bothering you with your partner, not anyone else. Your friends or parents can't fix the issues of your relationship nor advise you on how you could fix them. You should only discuss them with your partner. That should be only the basis for open communication.

You and your partner should be there for each other for the good and the bad, especially the bad! If you can't be honest with them, then why have you chosen them to become your significant other? Even if your relationship doesn't lead to having a family and children, you have still chosen this person to be beside you for years, if not forever. How can you live with them if you cannot talk openly to them about everything?

5. To have a healthy relationship you should try to be healthy yourself.

Understand that it's up to you to make yourself happy, it's not the job of your partner. Of course, you should do nice things for each other, but don’t lay your expectations on your partner to “make you happy.” It's not their responsibility nor in their power. Figure out as individuals what is it that makes you happy, be happy yourself, and then you each bring that to the relationship.

A lot has been said about “sacrifices” in a relationship. You're supposed to keep the relationship happy by constantly sacrificing yourself for your partner and their desires and needs. There's some truth to that. Each relationship requires each person to choose to give something up at times consciously. However, not all of the relationship’s happiness should be contingent on the other person. Neither you nor your partner should be in a constant state of sacrifice.

6. Give each other space.

Make sure you have a life of your own. Otherwise, it's more difficult to have a life together. That means you need to have your own hobbies, your own friends, your own support network. Overlap where you can, you're not one person, you are two individuals. Not being identical could give you something to talk about, expose one another to. It helps both to expand your horizons but isn’t so boring as living the same life.

7. Accept and embrace that both you and your partner will change in unexpected ways.

Over the years, each person will change tremendously. You will change faiths, political parties, hair colors, and styles, but you will love each other and possibly even more. The trick to that is understanding, accepting, and, then, embracing change. Each person has to become better and to do so they should evolve, they should grow. Don't expect your partner always to be the same person as you shouldn't expect yourself to do so. Understand that change can be something beneficial.

8. Get good at fighting.

Each relationship is a living, breathing thing. Similar to the body and muscles, it can't get stronger without some stress and challenge. You have to fight with your partner and you will. You have to hash things out. Obstacles make the relationship. However, you have to get good at fighting so that you won't ruin the relationship. Stop criticizing your partner's character each time you fight. Understand when you're wrong and apologize, even if you don't do it immediately. And never make your partner feel inferior.

9. Get good at forgiving.

When it's your partner who's wrong, and they admit it, then just forgive them. No need to repeat your rightness. You can be right and quiet at the same time. Your partner already knows you’re right, that's why they apologized. Learn how to forgive and forget, because it's even harder than apologizing. If you stay mad forever, how do you want the relationship to go on?

10. Create relationship rules.

There's no 50/50 in housecleaning, cooking dinner, vacation planning, gift buying, money making, etc. The sooner you both accept that, the happier you both are. All people have things they like doing and things they hate doing; all people have things they're good at and not so good at. You should talk to your partner about those things when it comes to dividing all the stuff that has to get done in life. Each relationship has its own rules. Some might like to split everything in half; some might like it another way. That's why communication is important.