It's not a bad thing to admit that you are afraid of loving somebody. Love is hard and requires effort, devotion and even sacrifices. However, love is still one of the best feelings in the world. There is no reason of being afraid of it; sooner or later you will fall in love, become happy, then become sad and the circle never ends. Happiness and sadness are the two basic symptoms of love. They might seem two completely different situations, but happiness and sadness are the two sides of the same coin.
What is actually a bad thing is to try to conceal your fear of loving by making other people feel vulnerable. Having the guts to be in love and face your emotions requires maturity. Some people can handle this situation early in their lives (let's say at the age of 25), while some others need time to fall in love, and that's completely logical. But still, there are people who try to feel strong by making other people fall in love with them and, later, refusing to love them back.
I know many people who act like that. They can chase after the girl/boy they like for months, do everything, almost beg her/him. When the second person actually responds to their love, then these immature people begin to feel pressured and they reject them. They say they are independent and that they like being alone, so they hurt the second person. That could be the truth unless they had spent so much of their time and effort to convince the other person to be with them.
The truth in this situation is that these people feel unable to confess their feelings and create a relationship. That's because they see love as a battle and not as what it actually is. This is why they chase after their love interest; they see this person as a trophy or, even better, as their victim. When they actually catch it, they fear that tables are going to turn. They are afraid of becoming the victims themselves!
So you need to understand that breaking a person's heart because "you're not ready for a relationship" only shows immaturity and weakness. If you really want to be single, it's absolutely ok. Just don't confuse other people with fake feelings that you are actually afraid to feel.
If you belong to the second group, you need to know how to deal with a person who doesn't know how to love yet. Remember that sacrificing everything for someone you don't really know is not love; it's called naivety. You don't have to rush into things. When you'll find true love, believe me, you will know it for sure.
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How to fall in love? Is falling in love a choice? I'm fed up with not falling in love with anyone. Please help me falling in love with someone. Can I repost this at www.syedusman.com?
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