6 Ways In Which Your Partner Tries To Control You

How can you tell if your partner has a controlling personality? Controlling is someone who needs others to behave in certain ways and does what it takes to make them do so.

For the majority of us, we have faced situations when somebody tells us not to do something. Then, when we naturally ask "why not?", they reply with, “I don’t want you to do that,” or “That’s not how it should be done.”

Controlling personalities usually comes from having codependency issues. That means that they depend on their ability to control your feelings so that they can feel self-confident and secure. Nevertheless, by doing this, they finally end up making you feel like you have lost your own independence. Therefore, they have you under their thumb, and your self-esteem is destroyed.

So, here are 6 ways to tell whether your partner is trying to control you.

1. At first, they are too affectionate and, then, they suddenly create distance.

This is an indirect manipulation tactic that is easily unnoticed unless you know how to recognize it. Once you meet them, they will start creating intimacy between you in order to make you trust them and depend on their tenderness. As soon as you believe they feel for you, they will begin to distance themselves.

This tactic is used to make you fall in love so quickly that when things slow down, you have no way to escape. You will find out that suddenly the compliments are over and it is you who is expected to do everything for this relationship.

2. They always find a reason to criticize you.

Controlling people are never happy with what their partner does, even when they give the instructions. They will judge the way you speak, the way you dress, your job, your house and basically everything. Their favorite thing is to tell you what you should've done to be 'perfect', like them.

3. They hate to be questioned.

People who are controlling can't stand being questioned. Their word is law. They get frustrated when you ask them to explain their actions or words and they end up being mad at you for asking.

This, of course, happens because their actions and words don’t make sense. They just want you to surrender to their control without question.

4. They try to make you feel guilty.

Guilt is the perfect way for controlling people to make you do what they want. They will try to use your love for them to manipulate you. This is a horribly destructive tactic in toxic relationships of any kind and can lead to permanent emotional damage.

5. They have a list of rules.

Of course, only they know what is best for everybody. Controlling people have a list of rules that everybody should follow, and unless they do, judgment soon follows.

6. They won't let you be yourself.

Once you notice these behaviors for what they are and refuse to be controlled any longer, your partner will probably tell you how much you have “changed.”

They depend on their words having an impact on you, and as soon as that stops, it’s all your fault. How dare you ask for your independence after they've tried so hard to take it from you?

You should remember that change is good. Especially when it comes to letting go of toxic people. Nobody can tell you what to do or say. That decision is only yours.