'Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me' - well, unfortunately, sometimes they do. However, there are several smart ways to respond to an insult, and it's time that you thought about it.
So, how do we deal with people who are always trying to insult us?
Here are 12 smart ways:
1. Be Realistic
The truth is that most times when people are trying to insult us, they are actually projecting their own negative thoughts on us. That's why when they say something negative about your job, for instance, it could be because they hate their own job or have no job at all. By understanding that the problem is not you but them, you can be more realistic. Showing them that the insult doesn't even bother you, might make them understand that they need to deal with their problems and leave you alone.
2. Set Boundaries
If you keep a positive outlook and set healthy expectations for the people in your orbit, those negative folks who are trying to insult you will just have to either be polite or get out of your world. It’s not cruel at all, it’s setting boundaries, and it’s actually very healthy.
3. Don't Laugh At The Insults
Unless you're totally ready to ignore an insult and don't bother at all, then don't ignore it. More importantly, don't act like these insults are a joke. You just make it easier for the insulter! It's not a joke, and these people need to be put in their place sooner or later, one way or another.
4. Be Mature
It’s too easy to stoop to childish behavior and become insulting as well, but remember that this is childish. It's true that insulting those people back will make them furious, but is that what you want? As said before, you just need to put them in their place.
5. Look The Other Person In The Eyes
Looking straight in the eyes show you're not afraid or ashamed of yourself. Looking the person who insulted you in the eye, without talking, for some minutes, will make them feel bad instead, as their insult will echo in total silence.
6. Just Tell Them
Sometimes the answer is simpler than we had thought: it might not solve the problem, but you could, just once, try saying what you want to say out loud. So, next time they say something bad, say calmly, but in a steady voice: 'What you just say was insulting', or ask them: 'Why do you feel the need to insult other people?'. This will surprise them, and they won't know how to react.
7. Don’t Rationalize Their Behavior
In general, this is ineffective. This kind of people often just want to be mean, and there's nothing you can do to 'fix' them. Don't justify them, just show them that what they do is not right.
8. Reinterpret What They Say
Studies have shown that people find it easier to cope with abstract, vague threats than specific ones. This means that in the case of an insult, you can re-interpret the insult in such a way that requires less direct of a response. For example, if someone says you are needy as a friend, your first instinct would probably be just to deny it. However, this could also be a statement about how expressive you are. And there is no need to dispute it.
9. Don't Be Afraid To Show You're Proud Of Yourself
Self-confidence can prevent other people from insulting you. When someone does insult you, it's usually because they've noticed something that makes you insecure. So don't be afraid to show you're proud of yourself and all the things you've done. You'll scare them off!
10. Refuse To Engage
Playing games with people whose favorite hobby is to insult you or others as well will exhaust you at some point. You should get over the fact that some people are mean and, since you're not one of them, just don't play their game!
11. Don't Take It Too Personally
This is way easier said than done, but it's at least possible not to take insults too personally. The more you cultivate and boost your self-confidence the less you'll care about what others think and say.
12. Stay Away
After all, who needs mean people in their life? If you understand that a friend or a relative or a partner only care to insult you and make you feel bad, why hanging out with them anyway? Stay away, that's the best you can do.
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