So you ate two buckets of chocolate fudge ice-cream, cried over your break-up, hit a few bars, swiped right on tinder a few times, met some friends of friends and ta daaa! You are now in a brand new, dreamy, fabulous relationship!
Or at least so you thought, until the first time the green-eyed monster came knocking on your door. Of course, when your SO ( aka soulmate) asked you if you are the jealous type, you immediately replied: “me? no, never! I believe in myself”.
What happened then? Why does it feel as if somebody punched you in the face everytime you even think of your other half even talking to other people?
Trust issues
Remember that boyfriend/girlfriend a million years ago that was in a relationship with you and two other people simultaneously? The other one who insisted that this particular person was “just a friend” while your gut shouted the truth but you wouldn’t listen? You know how the saying goes once bitten and twice shy.
Being lied to multiple times can cause insecurities and it’s hard to be separated from this fear of abandonment and being tricked. Sometimes trust issues are present in our lives without us even noticing it. Think of it as the background music to a movie. Nobody really pays attention to it but it is substantial for the outcome. Let go of the past. Repeat after me “let go of the past, let go of the past, let go…”.
Morbid Jealousy
Some people refer to it as “Othello’s syndrome”. In this version of jealousy, the person is preoccupied with the thought that their sexual partner is unfaithful without having any real proof. No indication whatsoever.
Usually, people suffering from morbid jealousy deny it. It is possible that they start restraining their partner from going out, interrogating them and in some cases, it can lead to violence or even crime. Most of the times though, it is masked as sincere concern finding legitimate excuses for their behavior. Common examples: “You shouldn’t go out that often, you know how tough this period is for me and you should stand by my side”.
Low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy create guilt to the other person for wanting their space and suffocate them. This kind of relationship is doomed!
Mirroring effect
Εverything was going great for you two. Suddenly, you go on a trip, meet and make out with someone whom you thought to be the prettiest creature alive (alcohol talking here!). From that moment on, you are afraid of your own shadow. You become suspicious of your partner and fear the fact that they will lie to you as easily as you have been lying to them. Then you start checking their phone and doubt moves in with you permanently. Everything your partner says or does seems shady and even when things are going great something just doesn’t feel right.
Any chance of escaping this vicious cycle? Sorry to be the one breaking the news but little, if any.
It's been said that trust is the cornerstone of any relationship and not in vain. It may sound trite but how about you believe your partner? Why destroy something beautiful just because?
No matter in which category you recognize yourself, remember that the keyword is to believe in yourself and communicate your feelings to your significant other.
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