These questions only take approximately 45 minutes to discuss. They almost always make two partners feel better about one another and make them want to meet each again and again, according to a groundbreaking social psychology research specialist Arthur Aron at the Interpersonal Relationships Lab in Stony Brook University, New York. He put out his results in "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness" in the title Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin (1997).
Try these questions with a date, but they aren't necessarily only applicable to fostering romance. You can try them with people you already know well too, such as friends, family members, or even long-term partners—to deepen your ties and feel closer to them.
Each of you has to take a turn answering every question.
Scroll down to read the questions:
1. Given the choice of any individual in the world, whom would you like as a dinner guest?
2. Do you want to be famous? In what way?
3. What would constitute an ideal day for you?
4. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To somebody else?
6. Do you have a secret bit of info about how you'll die?
7. If you could live all the way to the age of 90 and maintain either the brain or the rest of the body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years that you life which one would you opt for?
8. What do you feel the most thankful for in your life?
9. What would you change about your upbringing if you could change one thing?
10. Name 3 things you and your date seem to have in common.
11. Take 4 minutes and narrate your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If someone or a crystal ball could tell fortune about your life then what would you like to know?
13. If you could wake up tomorrow and miraculously have a new ability, which one would you like to have?
14. Do you have a long-standing dream? Why haven't you done it yet?
15. What's the most significant thing that you have done in your life?
16. What do you value most in your friendships?
17. What's your most treasured memory?
18. What's your most terrible memory?
19. What does friendship mean to you?
20. If you knew that in one year you'd die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
21. Going back and forth, share positive aspects of your personality with your date. Share a total of 5 items.
22. How do love & affection play a role in your life?
23. How warm and close is your family? Do you think that you had a more happy childhood than many people?
24. In order to become a close friend with a date, what would be important for him or her to know?
25. Make three true "we" statements each. For example, "we are both in this room feeling..."
26. Complete this sentence "I wish I had somebody with whom I could share..."
27. How do you think about your relationship with your mom?
28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest, saying things that you may not say to somebody you have just met.
29. Tell your date something that you like about them already.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.
32. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you've got time to make a final dash to save any one item safely. What would it be? Why?
33. What is not good to joke about?
34. If you were to pass away this evening with no chance to communicate with anybody, what would you most regret not having told somebody? Why haven't you told them yet?
35. If someone in your family died, who would it be and how would it influence you?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your date's advice on how he or she would handle it. Also, ask them to reflect on how you seem to be feeling about the problem you've chosen.
... and some variations:
-Would you be willing to endure terrible nightmares for one year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
-If you could choose the features and gender of your soon-to-be-born kid, would you do it?
-While on a journey to another city, your spouse/lover meets and spends a night with a stranger. Given that they will never get together again, and furthermore that you could never otherwise learn of the incident, would you still want your partner to tell you about it?
Reference: Psychology Today
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