8 Behaviors That Reveal A True Best Friend

"My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake." -Aristotle

One among the most significant and prominent philosophers in the history of humankind said that eternal truth thousands of years ago. Unfortunately, today not many people remember these words of wisdom and even less know what it takes to be somebody's true friend. Because even though nowadays we tend to have many friends, we are not sure how many of them are close and genuine.

Here's how Heidi McBain explains the various levels of friendship we keep with other people:

“Friendships can be found on a continuum with acquaintances on one side and your best friends on the other, with all different types of friendships in between,” McBain says.

However, what are our criteria for saying that somebody is our best and closest friend? Is it the fact we value their feelings and opinions? Or that we have become so close with them that we are crossing each other’s boundaries? Maybe we feel comfortable to tease one another even about the most intimate details of our lives?

How do we choose our closest friends?

McBain says many qualities make close friends stand out from the rest. That is true, yet it isn't that easy to decide who of our friends makes the cut so experts' opinion may help us.

Take a look at eight different behaviors only best friends would display:

1. They want the best for you.

A close friend is somebody who always has their best interest in mind even though it could not benefit them.

Heidi McBain, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist as well as the author of Life Transitions: Personal Stories of Hope Through Life’s Most Difficult Challenges and Changes shares that opinion too:

“Good friends can be your biggest cheerleaders and your greatest advocates,” she claims. “They can also serve as accountability buddies, keeping you focused on what’s most important at that point in your life — even during the times when you may doubt yourself and your self-worth.”

2. Best friends are our most keen supporters

According to Darlene Corbett, speaker, therapist, success coach, and author of Stop Depriving The World of You: A Guide For Getting Unstuck, a good friend is always supportive.

“A good friend will go 150 percent to be there for you,” Corbett tells Bustle. “Life is not always easy and fun, but a good friend will be available.”

Showing support is one of the most powerful manifestations of friendship. Supportive friends are our closest ones, as the help we receive from them is valid for all the spheres of life.

3. It is OK being yourself

Your best friends are the ones with whom you can be yourself; with others, you might put up more of a front and feel more reserved.

“A good friend is someone who will unconditionally accept you as you are, but will never be afraid to tell you the unpleasant truth of a situation or your behavior,” explains Lisa Orban, the author of It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting.

As Corbett adds, good friends could advise you or give you their honest opinion but would never judge you.

4. They actively listen to us

Тhe difference between a friend and a best friend is that the latter actively listens to you.

“A good friend is someone that you cannot only rely on, but that asks questions and truly listens to the answers,” Susan MacTavish Best, friendship expert and founder of Living MacTavish, points out.

Varsha Mathur, founder, dating, and relationship coach at KnowingLuxe Coaching, also supports this idea. According to her, a good friend would listen to you silently and won’t give you advice if you’re only looking for is somebody to share your problems with.

5. They're emotionally available.

Good friends resemble a lot to romantic partners as they are both emotionally available for us. They understand us, accept us and value our perspectives about life. This allows us to share our experience with them and feel connected. Thus we could easily overcome loneliness and cope with stressful situations.

Sure, some of your best friends might not live close to you, but you'll still keep a close friendship with them.

“A good friend doesn’t have to be physically close to be emotionally present,” Caleb Backe, a health and wellness expert for Maple Holistics, says. “Physical closeness is a lot, but especially nowadays, there are ways of staying together even when you are far apart.”

6. They share your interests.

Good friends are usually that close because they've got many things in common. They're similar regarding preferences, opinions, and beliefs about important things. Dr. Gruman says:

"Because our and our friends'personalities and ideas are similar, it gives us a sense of belonging, which satisfies the fundamental human need to feel connected to others — we feel united, togetherness, and a sense of belonging.”

7. There is reciprocity in the friendship.

Having a right balance of give-and-take is essential in any relationship. That's even truer when it comes to friendships. Best friends have the interchange, which is symbiotic. Here's what Debbie Mandel, author of Addicted to Stress, says:

“Sometimes you carry the ball, and sometimes your friend does. If one side is doing all the giving, this relationship will tip over.”

Nevertheless, if you or only giving and your friends are just taking, there is probably an issue with the relationship, and there is a high chance this person is not your real friend.

8. They're always there for you.

Do you know that friend who is ready to get up from bed at two am and comes to help you if you need them? That is the definition of a best friend. A person who is there for us and makes our lives easier. Dr. Gruman describes this further:

“They lighten our load and help shoulder the inevitable hurdles, stresses, and crises life throws at us. Friends can make what seems like an insurmountable mountain into a small hill that’s easily scaled.”

Battle adds:

“A good friend is a person who will help do something for you without expecting anything in return,” he says.

Reference: I Heart Intelligence