Staying in a toxic relationship can only lead to misery and sadness, even when it seems extremely hard to break up with your partner.
It might be hard because you feel in love, it might be because you've been together for years, and you find it hard to change your habits or admit that you've made a mistake. Sometimes it's easier to hope that things will get better than deciding to change them yourself.
It's hard to be brave, face your mistakes, and move on. But sometimes it's the only thing that you should do to be happy.
There are plenty of reasons why you can end up in a toxic relationship. Sometimes love is blind. Perhaps you fell in love with a person who seemed sweet and caring in the beginning but then turned out to be aggressive and abusive.
You are not alone. It has happened to most of us. Some of us had to face it more than once. Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, there is no instruction manual. Each one of us has to make their own mistakes. But the important thing is to learn from them.
So, love can be blind and misleading. Sometimes, you might even see the flaws and red flags but choose to ignore them. Aren't we all familiar with that? Our family and friends warned us that this person was not the right one for us, but we didn't listen. We chose not to listen. We needed to make our mistakes. The thing is, how long will it be until we finally understand what's right for us?
It's often hard to tell what connects two people. It might be chemistry, but it might also be something completely different. Codependency, for example. Imagine, for instance, the toxic relationship between an insecure giver and a narcissist, a natural "taker". These two "feed" each other; the first feeds the latter's need for attention, while the narcissist makes the giver feel special in their endless self-sacrifice. Isn't it sad for both of them, though?
Of course, there's also the unpredictability of love. Maybe your partner was charming when you two started dating and made you feel like the luckiest person on earth. There is no feeling quite like falling in love.
And when we feel those butterflies in our stomach, it's only natural to ignore early warning signs and red flags.
When the honeymoon period wears off, both partners start to show their true personalities. In a healthy relationship, they start getting to know and appreciate each other more profoundly. In toxic relationships, destructive behaviors and traits bubble to the surface.
You might find out that, when your partner is no longer trying to impress you to make you love them, they resort to verbal abuse when they do not get their way, or that they don't respect your privacy.
Sadly, it takes only a few months – sometimes, just a few weeks – to become attached to somebody. This means walking away is not easy, even when you know that they mistreat you.
To free yourself from a toxic relationship, you need to realize what it costs you to stay. A new perspective can help you find the strength you need to move on.
In staying with your toxic partner, you're sabotaging your chances of finding meaningful love and a healthy relationship. It would help if you believed that the world is full of people who can give you so much more than an unsatisfying, toxic, soul-sucking partnership.
Ending a relationship is difficult and painful, but standing in the way of your own happiness is a greater tragedy. Clinging on to something that doesn't work is a waste of time.
It is a hard truth to swallow, but you have to accept it – you can't afford to hang around, hoping that they are going to see the error of their ways.
People can change, but only when they decide for themselves.
You cannot force your partner to be a better person, to stop abusing you, or to treat you with respect. You can only change yourself - and no one else.
As we all know, life is not an easy ride. We will all experience pain and suffering. There aren't many things more painful than a traumatic breakup. You'll need time to process the end of a relationship, and that's perfectly okay.
COMMENTS