Friendships make the world go round, but so often we don’t know how we are being damaged by bad or even ‘toxic’ friendships. If you recognise the following types of behaviour, then you may be in a toxic friendship.
1. The flaky friend
Do you have a friend that tells you that they are going to hang out with you one minute but then changes their mind? Do they change their mind just because they get a better option or because they just couldn’t be bothered?
This is not good behavior, particularly if you were already relying on them for one reason or another. Friendship means that each individual values the other, and while we can’t be blamed for the occasional unexpected event or change of mind, this is a warning sign you should look out for!
2. The fairweather friend
A fairweather friend is a friend that may be the most fun in the world. You could have great times with them, great laughs, and see them as a great friend! However, friendship isn’t just about the good times. It is about being with you to support you, as best they can, through all times. If your friend is only around in the good times, then you definitely have a ‘fairweather’ friend. Make sure, though, to not criticize them too fast, first ask yourself if you are always there for your friends through thick and thin!
3. The reckless friend
The reckless friend can often be the most fun friend. They take you on wild adventures, show you knew experiences, make you feel like life is one big party. But do they make you feel uncomfortable too often, by putting you in situations you don’t feel comfortable? Do they take drugs, spend wildly, or care little for who they hurt in pursuit of their hedonism? Well, if they do, you certainly have a reckless friend, and they are to be treated very cautiously. Make sure you know your boundaries and make them clear if they are a true friend, they will respect this, and if they don’t, it is time to give them a wide berth.
4. The energy sapper
The energy sapper drains your energy and positive vibes. Every single person feels down sometimes, has their troubles and difficulties, and as a good friend, it is vital you stick by them and help as much as you can. But if this person is permanently sucking your life-force away, then they are an energy sapper. Are they constantly cynical, refuse to see any sort of good, leave you feeling down, or even criticize you for not seeing the world the same way? If that is the case, then it is time to reevaluate your friendship.
5. The attention seeker
Attention-seekers can be so much fun. They always have something to say, a view on this or that, with a bubbly personality and unique qualities you don’t find anywhere else. Often though they will blow up minor-issues or minor-problems into full-scale riots, full of rage, anger, and name-calling, they may also base the entire friendship on you giving them attention, in other words, you are only there to provide them with the attention they seek. This isn’t right and is certainly not a basis for an excellent long-lasting friendship.
So what do you do?
No one is perfect, and we all have our faults, and no doubt every friend we will ever have will be guilty of some of these behaviors at one time or another but if these behaviors persist it may be time to spend less time with that friend and get a new social circle. There is no need to cut them off entirely or hate on them, play it calm and be certain in your own values, your own beliefs, and your own self-worth.
Here is to great friendships!
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