It can feel weird sometimes to look back on past times with old friends and then realise that despite those great memories that we shared, the friendship with is no longer there. It doesn’t mean they disappeared into thin air or that they no longer exist. But yet somehow, we drifted away from one another. Often times, this wasn’t even a conscious decision but something that happened organically, almost without us realising.
Suddenly we are no longer great friends anymore. So how could this have happened?
They may have hurt us
It could be the case a friend said something or acted in a way, or maybe you said something or acted in a way, that caused the friendship to fall apart. Maybe this was just a little thing and there was no big argument, but it still gnawed away and undermined the friendship. What we must realise is that in any relationship, we will always say something that hurts others and they will say things that hurt us. Obviously we can’t forgive major betrayals or hurt, but even little things can remove the foundation of the friendship.
Time and distance got the better of us
Sometimes life makes us move apart, new jobs, new schools etc. There comes a time where we get caught up in new lives, new friendships and new relationships. Then we simply realise one day that our old friend is gone. That isn’t anyone’s fault, life is busy and it is hard.
We change as people
Change is as inevitable as the sun rising. Change is a natural part of life and we all change at different speeds and in different ways. That doesn’t make anyone better or worse than anyone else. Change isn’t a negative, it is a sign of growth.
When we and our friends change in different ways, find different interests, different life goals and believe in different things, we inevitably see less of each other. Again, this doesn’t put one of us in the right and one of us in the wrong – that is just the way life is.
While these are all reasons our old friends may have become near strangers, there is likely something that connects us besides our memories together. A shared dynamic and a shared humanity. That’s why sometimes even after time, distance, changing lives, and even after a little hurt – it may be time to give your old friend a call and ask them to meet up.
It doesn’t mean that you will be besties again, but wouldn’t it be nice to speak again? So go on – try it now, we are sure there is lots to catch up on.
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