Too many people confuse over-attachment with love. This means that instead of loving a person as an individual, we love them as a possession or something to own. As a result, we often live in a constant state of fear that they will leave us, or that we can't live without them. This, in turn, leads to relationship tension and sadness. If you wish to love properly, it is important to learn non-attachment. This means that you will be able to love authentically and genuinely.
Here are 3 things you can put into practice to obtain non-attachment, and gain the love that you and your partner deserve:
1. Aim for interconnectivity, not co-dependency.
You and your partner should aim to create mutual understanding, interconnectivity, mutual respect and respect for each other's boundaries. That is, instead of fostering 'ownership', whereby you simply attempt to make your partner love you enough that they don't dare leave you.
This means being genuine in your emotions and feelings and not hiding your desires and wants from your partner. Honesty is the key to truly learning, and truly loving each other.
2. Do not fear loss
Fearing losing your partner constantly, will lead to anxiety and a horrible life experience. Therefore, you must be 100% honest with yourself and this means saying 'if my partner were to leave me then I would be sad but ultimately I will be fine because I have self-love and self-respect' When you do not fear losing your partner, you will realise a love that is built on the foundations of true love and true companionship and not one built out of fear of loss.
3. Connect honestly with yourself
If you are truly not happy in a relationship, then you must be honest with yourself and leave. It is not fair to either you or your partner to stay out of fear of hurting them, or out of fear that you will never find anyone else. This means that you must be 100% honest with yourself regarding what you want. Self-honesty is the only solution. Just remember though that every single person you meet will have flaws and bad-points, and the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
There is a clear difference between positive true-attachment and negative false-attachment and once you learn these, the most important relationships in your life will bloom.
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