Betrayal can come in many forms. It can take the form of someone lying to you, or taking advantage of you, or take the form of someone ending a relationship or cheating on you after they said they would love you forever. What all forms of betrayal have in common is that they can hurt us so deeply that it can take years or even lifetimes to recover.
Every person in your life has the power to inflict suffering and change you through betraying you.
The hurt of betrayal stems from the fact that we have put our trust in someone only for that trust to be broken. It is this breaking of trust by someone we love that is often much more damaging than any other act that the person commits, be it theft, lies, or adultery. The individual betrayed then begins to feel that no one in their life can be trusted and that there is no point in building any further deep relationships because the damage caused by further betrayal is greater than anything gained from a new relationship, be it romantic or otherwise. They often then shut themselves off and live a life of solitude, or they can't enjoy to the full any new relationship that comes about.
Stop blaming yourself.
Damage also emerges because the individual who has been betrayed begins to blame themselves for the betrayal. They think that there is something wrong with them, that they weren't good enough to be treated properly, or that they are simply destined to be betrayed in the future. This is wrong. In all situations, people must realise that they are not to be blamed for being betrayed. Unless you have done something truly awful, like betraying a friend or partner, or committed truly grievous acts that justified another's actions, then you should never accept responsibility.
Giving trust and love to others is a key feature of humanity and is absolutely essential for living a full life. Those that do betray others should not be given the satisfaction of knowing they have damaged your life forever. Some people can be trusted. None of us are perfect but a massive amount of people will always remain loyal. Therefore, to overcome betrayal, we must first realise it is not our fault, and that all blame lies with the person who has committed the act of betrayal. We must then realise, that not all people act in the same way. If you yourself is someone who can be trusted, then that proves that loyal people exist. It is also highly unlikely that you are the only loyal person in the world. Millions of people like you exist.
How to let go of the pain and move on.
While it is sensible to enter all relationships with caution, and not to give away too much important information too soon, we must never let our precious limited time on this earth be destroyed by a minority of nasty, selfish people. To this end, it is important to remind ourselves of our worth and what we look for in other people. To let go of the pain, we must first acknowledge that the person who has betrayed us are themselves suffering inside. Perhaps they, themselves, did not have the opportunity to experience the value of trust growing up and therefore do not have knowledge of what trust means. While this may make them incapable of trust, it need not entail that we, or other people who come into our lives are equally damaged.
So, proceed with caution, live your life to the fullest, and remember above all that being betrayed is not your fault.
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