A transgender man, who gave birth to a child, has complained that hospital staff continued calling him 'mother' and misgendering him, despite him identifying as a man.
Bennett Kaspar-Williams, who is 37 and from Los Angeles, was born a biological woman but identifies as a man, they have also undergone extensive surgery and hormone treatment.
Deciding that both he and his partner, Malik, wished to become parents, Bennett temporarily stopped hormone treatment and fell pregnant with their son, Hudson, who was born in 2020.
Speaking of hospital staff misgendering him, Bennett, said:
"The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering that happened to me when I was getting medical care for my pregnancy. The business of pregnancy - and yes, I say business, because the entire institution of pregnancy care in America is centred around selling this concept of 'motherhood' - is so intertwined with gender that it was hard to escape being misgendered. Even with a full beard, a flat chest, and a 'male' gender marker on all my identification, people could not help but default to calling me "mom", "mother", or "ma'am". That was what made me dysphoric. Nothing about being pregnant felt "feminine" to me - in fact, I think carrying a child, isolated due to the pandemic, and facing all the hospitals and appointments alone was the absolute toughest, bravest thing I've ever done. Nothing feels stronger than being able to say I'm a dad who created my own child."
Speaking of the decision to get pregnant, Bennett said:
"I always knew it was a possibility that my body might achieve pregnancy, but it wasn't something I ever wanted to do until I learned how to separate the function of my body from any notions of gender. Once I learned to think of my body as a tool and not a collection of gendered stereotypes, I realized that I could both be the person I wanted to and bring a child into the world. No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try - being born with a uterus doesn't make conceiving or carrying a certainty. That's why it's so important that we stop defining 'womanhood' in terms of 'motherhood', because it's a false equivalency that all women can become mothers, that all mothers carry their children, or that all people who carry children are mothers. None of those things are universally true."
Speaking about the journey ahead, the new father added:
"Children are these amazing beings that don't see the world with the same bias and preconceptions that adults do. To my son, there's nothing more natural and normal than having a Dada and a Papa, and when he's old enough, he will also come to know that his Dada was the one who carried him and took care of him so he could come into this world. Children see love, they see patience, and they see commitment. My son will no doubt accept that he came from me, just as he accepts all the other love and beauty around him - with open arms."
[Based on reporting by: The Daily Mail]
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